Welcome to Baldelli’s Modern Life XVI

Fellow Managers,

Flights to Fort Myers, Florida are up by 1,493% since one month ago. You know what that means — pitchers and catchers have started reporting for duty. Thus the time has come to welcome you all back to Baldelli’s Modern Life XVI. You’ve all been invited back into the Yahoo league and your teams are unlocked.

As you can see from the attached contact sheet, I don’t have any reserve managers available. If you’re thinking of not playing this year or if you have a reserve manager to recommend please tell me sooner rather than later.

With that, a few announcements:

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The OG With a New Name

Fellow Managers, 

Since 2013 this league has known manager Nester Avelar by many names: Crochet Rocket, Saved By The Bellinger, Marlins Budget Cmte, or simply as an OG. Today, it is my honor as commissioner to add one more name to the list — Champion. Congratulations on winning Baldelli’s Modern Life XV! 

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Under New Management: Yankee and the Brave

What a whip-saw day it has been in Baldelli’s Modern Life. Of course, the big news is that Brandon Tully, manager of Yankee and the Brave since 2017 (originally Donny Franchise) has abruptly retired. Brandon is a gold-tier fantasy manager who made the league playoffs in all but one or two (I need to double check) of his seasons with Baldelli’s. While the news of his departure was sudden, he will forever be a part of the league’s history. 

Taking his place is our newest manager, Christian Glawe, an LA native and a man who once stood on the mound at Fenway park (in February). I’ve known Christian through the LA editing circles over the years. And through chess. Christian is an avid chess player who worked on the short film, “Pushing Wood,” the Maurice Ashley story. 

Christian, as is customary in this league when a new manager joins, you must send us a nude photo of yourself riding a horse. I’m kdding (about the horse), but I do invite you to say hello and share anything you’d like with the group. Not too much though, this is not AA. 

Ruling: Keeper Value of Drafted Players Picked Up From The Waver Wire

Fellow Managers,  

Yesterday, two teams expressed similar confusion about the keeper price of a drafted player, who is dropped mid-season, and picked up by a different team through the waver wire. The Commissioner’s Office accepts that the rules on our website do not adequitly address the valid arguments expressed by these two teams. Thus, a ruling is necessary to clarify their point of view with that of the Commissioner’s Office. This email is that ruling. 

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Two New Managers – Both named Michael

Baldelli’s Modern Live XV features at least one unique statistic — there are four managers named Michael. Today, the commissioner’s office is introducing two of them to the league:

The Commissioner’s Office is pleased to introduce our newest team manger, Michael Bilow, taking over the team Alternative Bats (Nick Cross). I have no idea how good Bilow will be at fantasy baseball, but if we judge based on his gameshow success, we’re all in a lot of trouble. Michael had a four epsiode run on Jeopardy! and was a prize winner on The Chase. Michael is so good at trivia he could have played Chris Knight (Val Kiler) in Real Genius. Will Michael adapt to fantasy statistics as well as he does to trivia or will he end up just being the guy I call when the website breaks down? The world will learn soon enough.  

Today we also welcome new manager Mike Kaplan (taking over for Sam). A fellow Swampscotian (from Swampscott, MA), Mike and I have been friends since sometime around middle school/freshman year of high school and it’s a pleasure for me personally to invite him in. He is new to fantasy baseball. Mike, much like Mel Gibson inMaverick, promises to intially lose to all of you before figuring out the game. But don’t get too excited — Mike is an avid Red Sox fan who knows his baseball.    

Mike and Mike, it’s official. Welcome to Baldelli’s Modern Life XV.

An OG Hangs Them Up: Phil is My Friend

Fellow Managers, 

Sam Howe, Manager of Phil is My Neikro Friend, informed the Commissioner’s Office last week that he is officially hanging up his cleats. Sam’s long-run as a manager left a deep and lasting impression on the league. His time cannot be summed up with statistics, but here are a few that show his impact: 

  • 3x League champion in 2014, 2015, 2017
  • Original league member, joining in 2008 (the league was called Who is Karim Garcia?) and playing for 18 seasons
  • In 2017 achieved a Yahoo diamond manager rating of 881

Sam, I know the decision to leave wasn’t an easy one.

UnbeLEEvable – Tokin’ Asian Wins Back-to-Back BML Championships

Fellow Managers, 

It’s that time of year when we gather to congratulate Tokin’ Asian on winning our fantasy baseball league… again. Leo claimed his record-setting sixth championship title by defeating It’s Milk Time with a stunning 8-2 victory 👏 👏 👏. I’ve updated the record book. Leo, what’s your secret? SPEACH! SPEACH! SPEACH! 

We also want to congratulate It’s Milk Time (Dave), who finished in second place for the third time in the last five years. 

Other notable finishes include Jags, who, for the first time since 2019, with the help of Shohei Ohtani’s 50/50 season, had the league’s best record with a remarkable .689 winning percentage, the second-highest in BML history.

Congratulations to Rich and Hunter, our two newest managers, who made the playoffs in their first season. 

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Under New Management

Each Opening Day, players and fans yearn for the familiar—the smell of hotdogs, vendors offering peanuts, and the renewed hope that maybe THIS will be our year. When new players join the home team, they are a continuation of a legacy, an extension of the family. We miss the players who retire dearly and thank them for the memories.  

Today, I’m sad and happy to officially announce the retirement of two league managers and the introduction of two new ones (three, technically).  

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